Assertiveness training teaches you to express your feelings, thoughts, and wishes while standing up for your legitimate rights without violating the rights of others.
This knowledge is not something we are born with. Like any other social behavior, it has to be learned.
Nobody is always an effective communicator. You may have no trouble talking with strangers, but find it more difficult with friends and co-workers. Training can help you respond to more situations assertively rather than passively or aggressively.
There are times when it is entirely appropriate to be aggressive. Such as when your life or property is in danger.
There are also good times to be passive. Such as when standing before a judge.
With training you can learn to choose when and where to assert yourself.
The way you interact with others can be a source of considerable stress in your life.
Learning communication skills takes time and practice, and involves these steps:
Identifying Communication Styles
Which communication style best describes you?
I talk softly. I don't stand up for my rights. I tend to avoid conflict and arguments. I rarely experience direct rejection, but people take advantage of me because I have trouble saying no. Then I am angry and resentful, and my needs are not met.
Nobody ever pushes me around. I always get my way even if I step on people to get it. I use my position, power, and language. I don't care if I offend people. I speak in a loud voice. I can be abusive, and I like to get even.
I protect myself by avoiding problems and not taking risks. I'm sly,sarcastic,and subtly antagonistic. I deliberately sabotage others. I talk about other people in negative ways. I dress offensively and inappropriately. I often have educational and social failures. I feel like a victim and don't like to take responsibility. I feel envious and resentful.
I often get what I want without hurting other people or making them angry. I am an effective communicator, able to express my thoughts, feelings, and wants. I am honest, direct, and confident.
Identifying characteristics of problems solving styles
How do you solve problems? Passively? Aggressively? Passive Aggressively? Or assertively?
Learning your legitimate rights
Learn the difference between
traditional assumptions and legitimate rights.
You learn a set of beliefs early in your life to help guide your social behaviors. These are essentially a set of rules about "good" and "bad" conduct passed on to you by your parents and other role models.
While these rules helped you get along with the people you grew up with, they are not cast in stone, and you can decide to behave differently.
Some of your rights may be different from from you have learned growing up.
What are the
responsibilities of communication?
Learning Assertive Communication
How to express yourself in a way that does not violate the legitimate rights of your self or others, learning to effectively use “I” statements, thinking through responses,
format and body language.
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